Perspective

God's omniscence is so amazing. Just when we think that we are alone in the universe and that no one is listening, he speaks through life. I am a money worrier. I worry in plenty and plenty. My husband and I have been discussing (along with 3/4s of our nation) about how to get rid of some our "bad" debt. It never seems to have an end, does it? But in the whole scheme of life we are so blessed...debt or not. There is never a day that my children will go hungry. There is never a day that we have to wear the same clothing several days in a row. There is never a holiday or birthday that we are unable to give our children gifts. There is never a time when we worry that our power will be shut off and yet I worry. God has known this about me for many years and continues to try to change my heart and mind but I so fight against him....this is who I am....how do I change something that I have learned from very young (my mom always told me about our money struggles)....how can I have the absolute faith that God can change me when deep down inside I don't think I really want to change? This time God gave me a group that will do nothing less than humble me and bring me to my knees begging forgiveness for my selfishness. I was invited to join the Jr. Auxillary and they do nothing but help the needy children of our county. I heard stories of mothers passing up more expensive shoes just to be able to buy an extra package of underware for the child, helping a bereived family to be able to bury the child that they lost, enabling parents to give their children Christmas when there was going to be none and I worry. I have decided that God's word for me in this season of my life is....Perspective. He has to change my perspective. How I see myself and my life. He laid the ground work for this even before I knew deep in my heart that I needed it. I received the invitation to the tea before my husband and I had the money discussion and that discussion left me with my husband wondering if it would ever be "enough" for me (my non-worrying comfort zone...enough in the bank). Finding out that he felt that way left me very hurt but at the same time it hurt because I realized how very true it was. God used his words to wake me up and then had already laid the path for me to truly see how very lucky and blessed that I am. He is amazing in how he manages the sticky, intricate cobwebs of our lives. It only takes one weak spot to bring the entire structure down at our feet. God is the extra strength we need to hold it together when the weak spot gives way. He strengths the rest of the strands so that we can mend the broken one. Thank you Jesus for loving me in my sinfulness. Thank you Jesus for blessing me even when I take you and your blessings for granted. Thank you Jesus for changing me in my very core to be more like you everyday.