Spiritual Being

You are not a human being

having a spiritual experience.....

You are a spiritual being

having a human experience.

Refine Me

Search me, O God, and know my heart,

test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting.

Psalm 139:23-24

I love the song by Nicole Nordeman called "Refine Me". If you haven't heard it, it is worth paying $.99 on iTunes to hear. I ask the Lord everyday to refine me. I want to be put in the fire like the precious metals and have all of the imperfections brought to the surface so that the Father can skim them away. I never really realized how lifelong that process is. We have to be put through the fire in different seasons in our lives to bring different areas of sin or bondage to the surface, but our Lord is always faithful in leaving us with only the purities of Him. I don't ever want to feel like I've reach the point where all of my imperfections are taken care of. I am so enjoying the blessings of the process I'm having with my Adonai. He loves me despite my imperfections and always helps me to deal with them. He holds my hand, wraps his arms around me and tells me that I am not alone in the process and that I will only be closer to Him on the other side. What an incredible thought that is! We have only this lifetime to become the people that our God yearns for us to be. We only have this lifetime to show others the blessings of our Savior. We only have this lifetime to learn, forgive and love. I want to be ready when Christ returns to take us home. Let him refine you. You only have the imperfections to lose, a lifetime of peace to gain and an eternity to spend with Jesus.

Paul's prayer

For this reason I kneel before the Father from whom his whole family

in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his

glorious riches he may strenthen you with power through his Spirit in

your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through

faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love,

may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long

and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses

knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more that all we ask

or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be

glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations,

for ever and ever! Amen

Ephesians 3:14-21

+Again I am doing my bible study and this week we are studying God's unfailing love. What does unfailing mean to you? Can you even comprehend what unfailing is? The only kind of earthly love is failing. We fail one another all of the time...even those that we have committed our lives to, but our precious Savior's love is UNFAILING. He loves us no matter what, with no memory of the wrongs we have done to Him or against Him. How many wrongs do you remember when it comes to a fight?

+The main reason I chose this scripture is because today in the study was on the Fullness of God's unfailing love. I have empty places...do you? What do you fill your empty places with.....money, possessions, attention from others, alcohol, drugs? How are those working out for you...honestly? GOD CREATED THE EMPTY SPACES TO BE FILLED WITH HIMSELF!!! He gave us a need to be with him, to take his Spirit into us and let him be the ruler of our lives. In order to truly be filled with the Holy Spirit we have to allow God access to every empty part of our lives that we've filled with things that are bad for us. You know exactly the things that I'm talking about. Paul prayed that the Ephesians would be "rooted and established in love", "to have the power to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ" and "to know this love that surpasses knowledge". This prayer applies to us at every level and our human mind can never process the love God has for us and how incredible and free our lives can be when we allow him to completely fill us. Wouldn't you like to be free? I want to be free and every day I feel one step closer to that freedom.

+I love when Beth Moore said, "Not only am I freed, I am able to free others from having to boost me up emotionally all the time." We don't realize how we need validation from others when we aren't allowing Christ to fill us. We are needy in our humanness and can suck the joy out of others by wanting them to make us feel worthy when Christ is the only one who makes us worthy. Give up trying to fill the emptiness with worldly things...you will NEVER succeed. Aren't you tired of trying? Aren't you tired of failing? Maybe it's time to give God's unfailing love a try. Stay in his word, give him a part of your day, what have you got to loose......the emptiness.

+++God bless you all!

This story comes from Beth Moore's bible study "Breaking Free". It is based on the Footprints story but she altered it a little and it is incredible.....

Imagine going to heaven and standing by God as He lovingly shows you the calendar of His plan for your earthly life. It begins with the day you are born. Once you received Christ as Savior, every day that follows is outline in red. You see footprints walking through each day of each week of your life. On many of the days, two sets of footprints appear. You inquire: "Father, are those my footprints on the calendar every day and is the second set of prints when you joined me?"

He answers, "No, My precious Child. The consistent footprints on your calendar are Mine. The second set of footprints are when you joined Me."

"Where were You going, Father?"

"To the destiny I planned for you, hoping you'd follow."

"But, Father, where are my footprints all those times?"

He answers, "Sometimes you went back to look at old resentments and habits while I was still going forward, hoping you'd join Me. Sometimes, you departed from My path and chose your own calendar instead. Other times, your footprints can even be seen on another person's calendar because you thought you liked their plan better. At other times, you simply stopped because you would not let go of something you could not take to the next day."

"But, Father, we ended up OK even if I didn't walk with You everyday, didn't we?"

He holds you close and smiles, "Yes, Child, we ended up OK. But, you see, OK was never what I had in mind for you."

"Father, what are those golden treasure boxes on certain days?"

"Blessings, My child, I had for you along the way. Those that are open are those you received. Those still closed were days you did not walk with Me."

Jeremiah 29:11 -13

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord,

"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to

give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon

me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will

seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

I love this scripture. I am going through Beth Moore's bible study, "Breaking Free" and it has absolutely been a life changing time for me. Some of this study is about childhood abuse and I have never experienced that but the rest has just been an eye opening experience. I long to continually rely on the Lord and I can honestly say that in this season of my life, I am on my knees before the throne with my hands completely open so that my Adonai can plan my life for me. He can be in charge in all areas of my life and I am completely at peace with this. I have never been in this place before and for once I am not afraid to let it all go. For the past few months the Lord has had me in solitude. I am trying to stay at home and spend time with him. It is so easy to get sucked in the things of this world and to get involved in things that really are none of our business or have nothing to do with us and I am tired of the stresses of this life. God is so good to step in when he knows that we have reached the bottom. All of the things in my life were in a state of chaos: my marriage, my children, my heart and it was all because I wanted to be in charge. It was no ones fault but my own. I was the one causing the chaos and I didn't even realize. It was all the state of my heart and I refused to let God be in control and he let me run my life into the ground, then he held out his hand, lifted me up, dusted me off and let me collapse in his arms. Just thinking about that time brings tears to my eyes because my God is sooooo good. He showed me that I must love my beautiful husband and allow him to be human because Christ loves me in my humanness, I must love my children and guide them to his throne just as he is leading me and I must love myself, and see myself through his eyes, so that I can surrender all my life to him.

I want all that the Lord has planned for me. I want to get to heaven and see all of the treasure that he has stored for me. I want it all and my Lord and Savior is giving it to me. I want to lift up those around me (even when I don't feel like it)! I want to spend time daily with Jesus (even when I can't concentrate on anything). I want to love this life and work towards my home in heaven. Would anyone like to join me on the journey? I'm learning that its an incredible ride.

God already knows the plans for our lives.

Why not walk with the trail guide instead of wandering

lost through the forest!

Truth

-Truth

-It hurts

-I know it's true

-I don't want to look at the truth

-God has already showed it to me

-Someone else pointed it out

-In my humanness, I want to point back

-"But you do this...."

-More fingers pointing at me than at them

-Tears

-Anger

-Frustation

-Why can't I just pray about it and have it change

-Satan plays in the back of my mind...

-They this

-They that

-What about them

-More tears

-So hard to just stop and look

-No words

-Don't want to talk

-Heart just crying

-Should pray with other person

-Don't want to

-WANT to be angry

-Not right

-Get out Satan

-Change me Lord

-Make me like you

-Please change me

-Don't want to hurt others with my words and actions

-So hard

-How do I let go

-Let me let go of selfishness

-Let me let go of control

-Let me let go of the past that makes me what I am

-I don't want that anymore

-Don't want to be mad and hurt anymore

-My hurt feelings were necessary

-Why does learning include so much heartache

-God, it hurts, make it stop

-Make me like you

Quiet

How can silence be so loud? Riley is off to preschool and all is quiet in the house. I have so many things to do and all I want to do is sit and enjoy the silence. All day long I hear that little voice over and over "MOM I need this" or "MOM I need that". Some days you think you will go crazy if you hear that just one more time and yet I know that once that little voice gets bigger I'll miss the innocence of that sound. Time moves so quickly and my little boy isn't so little anymore. In just no time at all I'll have silence all day and will probably go stir crazy...although I might actually get caught up on all of my scrapbooking!!!! How do they grow so fast?!?!?!

Next week is cheerleading tryouts....am I ready....absolutely not. There will be late evenings all week long, stress, stress and more stress, and the dreaded announcement and trying to prepare for the best and the worse scenario. I'll prepare for tears of joy or tears of happiness. Either one will be in God's hands and I hope he shows me how to comfort both!

One of Coop's best friends, and another of his closer friends, gave their lives to Christ last night. They are both 11 years old. How exciting!!!!!!! It's amazing how God works in everyone's lives. He whispers and so often we aren't listening and then something happens and we begin to hear. I am so proud of both of them and I pray that they will all be Godly influences in each others lives....the Lord knows how hard the life of an adolescent boy can be!

Well, the dart reign is over:( We have slipped to second but I will tell you that being at the top was great.....I only stomped and cried for a little while:) Ronny and I have had soooo much fun playing in the doubles league at Dad's Place. We don't ever have very much time together with 3 kids and we have really loved playing darts. Thanks Jim for the great idea!!!!!!

LORD, GIVE ME STRENGTH!!!

I feel like the old maid in my group of friends. I have a 15 year old and everyone else has kids that are at or below the age of my 10 year old. It's hard to ask advice about a teenager when no one else has one. We were all teenagers but its still different when you're trying to explain things to your own teenage children. We are still in the ongoing saga I blogged about last time...only now its getting verbally abusive. I wish that I could give my daughter my wisdom and she would understand (I know that there are others that will read this that know exactly what I'm saying). I don't know why kids can't figure out how to mind their own business and then when they know something just keep their mouths shut...but wait....I think I sometimes still have a problem with that! The girls that Jo was having trouble with came up to her today after I left her school and told her that she needed to mind her own #&$!* business, blah, blah, blah. I do agree that she should just keep her mouth shut (I told her that blabbing about the girls that wronged her made her no better than them...but did she listen?). It wasn't just that one girl said something...it was the fact that the "group" had to come and lend moral support I guess. I remember how scary it was to think that you might get your butt kicked when I was in school, so all afternoon I have been stressing thinking that something will happen. (She called me from school, crying, telling me what was said and who said it.) She did just text me and tell me that they talked but didn't go into detail so I'm sure I'll hear about it after school. I think I like the way boys handle their disputes better sometimes. Boys get --issed and knock the crap out of one another and then it's over. Girls have to be vendictive and hateful and will remember until the end of time that you wronged them. We are such back biters! Lord, give me strength!!!!!

Onto the child who will truly put me in the NUT HOUSE! Boogie already got a note home from school, like within the first 3 weeks, and now we've gotten another. He got into it with another little boy (this one has some behavior issues himself....I'm not trying to save face...he really does!) and he proceeded to call him a "butthead" and a "buttcrack"! I am so thankful that I have older children to teach my 4 year old all of the appropriate things to say. I have been so blessed with a child that is bright and can remember so many "good" things. I am still wondering why I'M being punished for all of the trouble that Ronny caused. (You all know that Ronny caused a lot of H-E-double hockey sticks in his day!!!!) Boog is in this phase about stomping around, kicking things and mumbling under his breath but apparently Tuesday there was no mumbling about it. I will survive my children, I will survive my children, will I survive my children?

I HATED SCHOOL!!!

Please tell me that someone else can sympathize with me. I hated school. I hated cliques. I hated stuck-up girls. I hated stuck-up guys. I hated people that always thought they were better than me because they had "the jeans", the shirt with"the polo rider"or "the alligator" blah, blah, blah. Society has created a world where just being a nice person is never enough. You have to have the best of everything, drink, party, be permiscuous and nasty to everyone in order to be accepted. I don't think that there probably is anyone in any generation, any age that hasn't had to deal with that and now I have a 15 year old daughter who just wants everyone to like her. Not that some of her issues aren't self-generated but I just don't understand how people can be so hateful and have no sense of remorse or a conscience. How do you conspire to hurt someone on purpose? How do you look that person in the eye and say that you are their friend? How do you injure someone's very being just like you would step on a bug? What is especially bad is that those that hurt her are "christians". Isn't that the way of the world. I would rather have a non-christian spit in my face than to have someone who carries Christ's name like a banner do the same. At least one has an "excuse" for being a heathen. I won't go into specifics of what happened but I just ask that all of you reading this will stop and say a prayer for my little girl and that you specifically ask God to bring her a true friend. Someone who will accept her, faults and all, and not be afraid to hold her accountable for her actions and words. Someone who can be mad at her, not stab her in the back and offer her forgiveness. Someone who will be a Christ light for her in this dark, ugly world. It's days like this that you wonder why you bring children into this hateful life and subject them to Satan's world. So many tears to cry. So many hurt souls. So many kids who don't have someone to tell them that this too shall pass and you will come out on the stronger side of it, God is using this as a teaching moment and in a few days or weeks you won't even remember why you cried. I don't want my daughter to carry with her the things that I carried with me, from school, for so long. I want her to have awesome memories of fun and laughterand a friend to share those memories with. Please pray. Pray. Pray.

Just Hangin

Well, here I actually made it again but.....there are many, many other things I should really be doing!

My brother-in-law, Tommy, is here visiting from Kansas. It is so hard to have a house guest because Riley loses his room (occupies mine) and I always feel like I have to entertain, even though I probably really don't. Tommy is quite the character....he is the typical 80's throw-back....used to have a mullet but it's gotten thin and so it's a modified mullet, he was the self-appointed black sheep of the family (until he accepted Christ last year) and everything is a huge drama. He is an incredible musician. He can pretty much play any instrument that he sets his mind to and at one time was offered the position of bass player for Kenny Chesney's band (unfortunately, he and Ronny's band, Trick Rider, were working on their own deal...later Ronny decided family was more important). He is a trip!

Jo is trying out for high school cheerleader and I'm not sure how I feel about that. Some of the girls can be a little catty and that really concerns me. You know how girls can sometimes fall into the groove of things that they say they will never do. I just hope that she is stronger than that. There is quite a bit of competition because there are only 5 or 7 spots open for next year and a lot of really good girls. I want her to make it for her....but.....I wouldn't be heart-broken if she didn't. (Am I a bad mother for not wanting to spend my entire summer driving her to and from cheer practice at all hours of the morning?!?!?! Tell me, am I???? It's not like I won't be spending all of my summer with baseball and T-ball being at 2 different fields...not to mention practice....equipment puchases....I'M NOT STRESSING.....I'M NOT STRESSING!!!!)

Oh, I almost forgot....Jordyn is going for her official driver's permit tomorrow so I just wanted to warn everyone that she is on the loose in a 1000lb vehicle...or however much they weigh! She does pretty good but you all know how much there is to remember and you spend more time trying to watch the other crazy drivers! Just thought that I would give you fair warning to prepare for another teenager on the road!!!!!

Hopefully this week will go fairly smoothly.....and we will stay NUMBER ONE in the doubles dart league!!!!! You know that you are all coveting our position...don't lie....it's okay....I refuse to give it up.....HAHAHAHAHA:) We love spending time with all of the team members and if we have to relinguish our position we will do it gracefully....kicking and screaming!!!!!!!

I'm Still Here!!!!

I have been bugged quite a bit about my lack of blogging and I'm sure that now I am posting something no one will know because they have all given up on me!!!! Sorry...I just don't know how to squeeze everything in and get any one thing done. I get on a schedule and then I have a day that doesn't go according to plan or, as in the case of last weekend, I was out of town and that has thrown my entire planning session into a tailspin! All that would like to see me keep up with my blog....keep me in your scheduling prayers!!!!!!!!!!

Things are still as crazy as ever. In the clan, we have lost one hamster and gained a siamese. Tai is amazingly beautiful and is quite a character. Snickers, our rat terrier, and the cat seemed to love chasing one another all of the time and when they get tired they sunbathe together. It can be quite interesting.

Jo is finally done with cheerleading but is already stressing out about trying out for the high school squad, Cooper is getting ready to turn 11 and baseball is getting ready to start, and then there is Riley...where do we begin? He is getting ready to start Tball and is in yet another phase. Stomp...kick...huff....stomp....whine...kick....need I go on. I'm not feeling quite so bad since his bud Abby is doing the very same thing.

Ronny and I are in the doubles dart league at Dad's Place and having a blast. It was so funny because I called Ronny to tell him that Jim was starting the league, thinking that he would find another guy to be his partner, and he said "Let's do it!" I'm thinking NO, I can't play darts....I'll injure someone. We ended up as "Beauty and the Beast" and we are now currently in 1st place (for the moment) and Ronny is the MVP and Bull leader. We have to be a team and I love doing it with him. We do dinner or a movie but its not the same as needing one another to get something done. I have to say that on Monday night I was estatic because I threw 2 bullseyes! The first one was purely by accident but the 2nd one I meant to!!!

I promise to try to keep up at least once a week. I need a schedule like Kristy's at Half-Tied Ribbons. Not sure that I'll get that organized but I can hope.......

Introspection

I hate being, or being forced to be, introspective. I especially dislike it when God continues to hit you over the head with something about yourself that you don't want to hear....

Negativity

-That's my, "I don't want to hear it" word.
-It's funny how you go through life with this picture of yourself only to have someone tell you that what you are seeing is not the right picture.
-It's funny how you spend your whole life swearing that you won't be one way only to hear that that is exactly who you are.
-Tears, lots of tears.
-Prayer, lots of prayer.
-Confusion...how did I get this way?
-Anger...that someone pointed it out.
-Frustration...that it is always you that is the problem.
-Alone...how do you talk to others and not voice the frustrations that you have? How do you unburden yourself? When is it okay to gripe...once a week...once a month? What do you do when the one you want to talk to is the one that pointed out the fault?
-God...he just keeps showing me how true the words were...eventhough they hurt...and keeps on showing me.
-Study...a book that continues to hit on the very problem I'm having and giving me God's words to show me how my problem affects others.
-Tired...I'm just tired and feel "heavy."
-Avoidance...I DON'T WANT TO LOOK AT IT! I DON'T WANT TO EXPLORE IT! I DON'T WANT TO FEEL THE ANGER, FRUSTRATION, HURT AND ALL THAT OTHER STUFF THAT GOES WITH CHANGING.
-Change...I really am like that. I have really been trying to see the blessings in my life...even if I have to dig it up from the bottom of the reserve sometimes.
-Change...I really am trying to speak positive words to all around me.
-Change...I really am blessed...I just had to open my eyes, work on overcoming some flaws from my raising and let the Lord show me his works right here in my home.
-a little one clinging to me 24-7 means that I am the center of his universe right now and he loves me unconditionally and feels safe and secure with me.
-a middle child who just wants attention amidst the chaos and my loving words and actions go a long way.
-the eldest child is growing into a wonderful young adult and we have an incredible friendship that I wouldn't trade for anything.
-a spouse who loves me regardless of my faults and gives loving correction when I need it...even if I don't want to hear it...and is my best friend.

Life gets so hectic that all I do is focus on the chaos instead of focusing on the eye of the storm...God. I just want to be all that he wants me to be but being someone different is scary, but I am thankful that for all of the faults that I have he still loves me enough to continue to help me change and become all I can be for His kingdom.

Catch Up!

Well, this is the face we get everytime we talk about going to school. Then we get the fall on the floor, feet kicking fit to follow! He does this when he gets up and thankfully it is easing up a little every time. This morning he had the fit but then once we got to school he walked right in...had to bribe him with playing The Incredibles on the playstation when he gets home but....whatever works....right!?!!?!?!

Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Prov. 30:8

I'm sure that I've read this verse before and the Lord wasn't ready for me to learn this lesson but boy it really smacked me in the forehead this time. We are doing a bible study on contentment and I want that so badly. To just be happy in whatever situation I am in knowing that my Savior is taking care of things even when I can't see that. I guess it's just a lack of faith. It really struck me as funny the other day when I was doing laundry, when I can't find something or need to get a shirt out of the dryer and its at the bottom of the load, I will go, "Ok Lord, please show me where this is." and inevitably I will find it immediately. How silly is it that I have complete faith that He will show me where some stupid shirt, my keys or something the kids have lost is but I doubt him in the big things?! He has always been so faithful and proven his love for me over and over and over and still I find myself holding back. I want contentment. I want to be happy with just what I have. I don't want to want. I need my every happiness to be based on the love of my God and nothing else. I want to LEARN (as Paul put it) to be content. He didn't say that he prayed for it and God gave it to him. He said that it was a lesson that God wanted us to learn. Teach me Father.

Blessings

We started a new bible study last Thursday and our assignment (our books aren't in yet) was to put a blessing on this little card, that was wrapped like a present, and bring it with us to our next class. Ever since then I have been hit over and over again with the blessings in my life, so, since everyone else is into the list making mood, I thought I would make a blessings list...so happy that I have enough to make a list!!!!

1. Jordyn, she is growing into such an amazing person.
2. Jordyn can talk to me about anything.
3. Cooper is such a cutie pie and even though he can be frustrating he is always ready with a hug.
4. Boogie...what more do I need to say...he is adorable, funny, frustrating, funny, and a total type A personality.
5. I have an incredible husband that puts in long hours at work to support us and then comes home to go to baseball games and coach peewee football, and watch Jo cheer.
6. The weather! I absolutely love Fall!!!! Jeans, sweaters, football...all the best things in life.
7. My brother-in-law coming to visit. His last visit produced his surrender to Jesus, baptism and total life overhaul and it is a blessing to actually see the change in person.
8. Watching Ronny and Tommy play guitars together and sing. I cannot Not smile.
9. Ronny's dad coming to visit too and listening to him laugh so hard that he thinks he will have a heart attack.
10. Journey, totally taking in our extended family so that all they can say is how incredible everyone here is.
11. Doug and Diana. I could elaborate but there isn't enough space! (Bust a move, Baby!)
12. JB and Amy. Still isn't enough space.
13. Mike, Kristy and Abby. Giving Ronny and I a chance to just simply be together and not constantly going, "Riley get down." "Riley stop that!" "Riley come here!"
14. Jesus for all of the things that he has done but most importantly right now, bringing us here and giving us friendships that neither of us has experienced before and ones that will last a lifetime.

DUH!!!!!

I was going to start this blog, in the midst of cooking dinner, and attach this really cute pic of Sadie chillin' it on the couch only I haven't loaded the stupid thing into the computer yet!! My one brain cell is being very taxed at this moment!!!!

Our small group was so awesome last night. We are going through the book "Dream Team" about marriage. We had the Strader's, the Berry's, the Sipes', the Duncan's and us. I just have a really good feeling that this group will really be honest and be there for one another. Last night we talked about the kind of intimacy it takes to pray together, in depth. Most of us (except the brown-nosing Berry's:)) don't pray together on a regular basis and we talked about how we have chosen to spend our entire earthly lives with our significant other but we are uncomfortable about praying with them. It is definitely a huge step in intimacy. As a society, we are so guarded and don't want to let "anyone" into the dark corners of ourselves and that ultimately spills over into our marriages. In prayer, you also have to be completely honest with Jesus and when you are, someone else is ultimately listening. You fear their reaction to what you say. Will they be angry with you? Will a fight get started? Will they truly listen to your prayer and accept the way that you feel? It is so sad that we can't just open that gate and not look back. I did ask all the couples to promise that, even if only once this next week, they would pray with one another. It only takes 2 weeks to make something a habit...what a great habit to have. I am just sssooo excited about the feel in our group, and about the fact that we have 2 of the newer couples with us (maybe I should be afraid with Ronny here). God is going to do wonderful things in our marriages....I can feel it!!!!!!

Disappointment

Jordyn took the written test today to get her driver's permit.....she failed:(
I could tell that she wanted to cry but because she had to go back to school she wasn't going to let herself. I felt so bad...thank goodness that several of her friends had to take the test more than once to pass. Keep her in your prayers this week because we will probably go back next Tuesday and try again.

Crazy dayz!!!! Today I got up early to take Jo for the test (8am), by the time we were done Ronny called me and asked me to bring my vehicle by (trying to sell it because they dropped the price on the 2007s and if we don't sell it we will NEVER get out of it what we paid)(9am), got home at around 9:45am, played with Riley and tried to get a few things done around here, fixed lunch at 11:00, laid Riley down at 11:30, got him up at 1:00, went to school to pick up Cooper for the orthodontist at 1:30, drove to Bastrop for a 2:50 appointment, didn't leave there until 4:30, ran into a torrential (sp?) downpour outside of Monticello and drove about 25mph, got home at 5:45, Cooper had football practice and they finally came in at 7:30pm. Could we squeeze in anymore!? I met myself coming and going several time today!

Accomplishment !!!!!!

I actually got something accomplished!!!! Thank you for the prayers. I am still trying to get in a routine and just getting one single page done after months and months is a milestone.

Went to Kristy's this morning and actually got the majority of this page done at her house. Angela came too and she couldn't decide what size page to do so ended up not getting one completely done. There are so many choices and so little time! I just had to scrap a page about the hair! I NEVER am in any pictures so I decided to get one of just me. I didn't even think to include the fact the not only do I have the funky do but I also have braces. Can anyone say repressed childhood!?!?!?! I have been called Cruela and gotten several "What on earth were you thinking?" looks but to tell the truth I really kinds like it...it's growing on me....if you really think about it...it really is GROWING on me!!!! HA HA HA

The entire time we are trying to get something done all we can hear in the background are Riley and Abby running up and down the hallway. They came in at one point and were talking about playing and I told them they needed to stay at this end of the house because Lilly was napping and Kristy told them to go play in Abby's room and Riley said,"Abby, do you want me to throw my Spiderman at you?" They had apparently been throwing toys (by the shape of her room) at each other for fun! I wasn't sure that sounded like a lot of fun but I'm not 3!

Rain

I love the rain. It's not about the cleansing part of the rain. It's the put on your jammies, curl-up on the couch, football season feel. I wish it would get dark, thunder, lightening and storm like crazy. I don't think its going to happen but I can hope!

Why is life so topsy-turvy? You can go one day and feel crazy and the next you are just calm and happy. I wish God would have sent us manuals with each of us or even just a cheat sheet of some sort. We have friends call us for opinions and support but we can't even begin to help ourselves. I guess that's why God gave us girlfriends.

I am going to try and start a daily routine for myself tomorrow. Start my day off with the Lord and make a plan for the rest of the day. I always have such great plans and yet everyday I find a reason to plant myself on the couch or something and then complain about not having time to get anything accomplished. Why is it so hard to get yourself motivated? Wish me luck!!!!

I'M TIRED!!!!

Tired of....
-being an adult
-being an adult and still feeling like a teenager in my head
-being afraid to say what I feel
-being afraid of confrontation
-being hurt by other's actions that really have nothing to do with me at all
-being anxious
-feeling overwhelmed by life sometimes
-being a procrastinator and not even realizing it
-worrying about things that I have no control over, knowing the Lord always takes care of things
-not trusting my Savior enough
-responsibility
-feeling crazy
-feeling insecure
-being tired

Pray for me.

Boredom Kills!!!

Blogs anyway! I was wanting to change my template and I go in to look at the changes and all of my links are gone!!!! It only took me forever to figure out where in all of the garble-de-gook I had to put them in the first time! I hate computers!!!!!

Had to show everyone just how be-a-u-tiful my baby is! When you get started doing this you just have to add more..don't ya!?!?!

Next time I will try to include a pic of my new funky do! (Not so new anymore to some of you but my mother didn't seem too impressed when I emailed a picture to her!)